PPP – Happy Mother’s Day – Reissue

Note: this is a reissue/rewrite of my Mother’s Day PPP from 2020.

Happy Mother’s Day Friday Everyone,

Last year an Allen’s Hummingbird built a nest in our backyard pittosporum.  Her two eggs hatched and the young successfully fledged and left the nest.  That very same nest is again occupied this year.  She (perhaps the same bird) is now sitting on her eggs.

Female hummingbirds should rightfully be the archetype for the working single mother.  They singlehandedly build the nest, and raise the young.  No small task.  She must sit on the eggs for 2 to 3 weeks, and only leaving the nest for short periods to take in enough energy to keep on the task without the eggs going cold.  After hatching (typically two young), she gathers food and feeds the ravenous youngsters for 18 to 28 days.  During this time, mom is constantly on the move; stopping just long enough to feed the little ones before jetting-off to load up on more groceries.

Fun fact: Hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards.

Here is a short video I took last year of mom coming in for one of her fast food services.

Seems moms of all kinds are hard at work.

Mother’s Day became an official holiday in America in 1914.

It can take the better part of a lifetime to finally realize the full extent of what our mothers have done for us.  On top of the things that she did for us that we know about and remember, there many more things that we have either forgotten or we will never know about; all those sacrifices done in secret that only she can tell.

In her final years, when the roles of caretaker became reversed, I tried to do my best to return to my Mother all the love, patience, and kindnesses that she gave to me when I was young.  After all, what else can we give them?  Gifts for her have always been a conundrum for me.  I recall one Christmas when I gave her an expensive bread machine.  For years it remained in the box, and she never used it.  Eventually she gifted it back to me.  It reminds me of a joke I heard about the pitfalls of trying to find a gift for moms:

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.  Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”  The second said,” I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”  The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat.  You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and how her eyesight has failed her to the point that she can no longer read.  I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible.  It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach the bird and I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it.  Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it.”

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks to her boys.  To the first son she wrote, “The house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”  To the second she wrote, “I am too old to travel.  I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and that driver is so rude!”  To the third she wrote, “You were the only one that knew what your mother likes…that chicken was delicious.”

The truth is that material things are not what moms want most.  All moms really want is our Love, affection, a little of our time for a visit, and our help when they need it.  A lesson I wish I had learned much earlier in life.

Now some photos:

This is my grandmother Hilda (Matthiensen) McNamara with her son Gerry (or as I call him, Dad).  This must be about spring/summer of 1928 in Iowa.  I figure this because Dad was born on October 10, 1927, and he looks old enough in the photo to toddle around, and the weather looks pretty good.

Hilda and son Gerry in 1943, living on Roxford street in Beverly Hills.  By this time, they would have moved 4 times since arriving in Los Angeles in December of 1937.  Though it does not look like it, he’s about 16 years old.  And yes, he did play on the high school basketball team.  Hilda proudly standing there with a ‘mother’s smile’.  You will see that same bright-eyed big smile in a lot of these mom photos.

Louise (Kerbrat) McNamara (Mom) with her mother, Ozanna Kerbrat, November 1955.  Ozanna was quite ill.  She passed away just a couple months later on January 8, 1956.

Mom’s sister Aline (Kerbrat) Seydoux with her three children Edward, Denise and Alan, Christmas 1956.  Daughter Yvette would be born 4 years later.

Mom’s other sister Alice with her son Ronnie.  A note on the back of the photo says “Jo Jo’s grave 12-29-57”.  Jo Jo was the nickname for their mother, Ozanna Kerbrat.

This is me with my Nana; Hilda (Matthiensen) McNamara.  Looks like we were visiting Mac’s (her husband) grave.

This is a photo of brother Pat, Mom, and me on the front porch of our home on Garfield Avenue in Culver City.  Pat was born in April 1956, and Mom and Dad moved us into this new home in October of that same year.  Given Pat’s apparent age and the new landscaping going in, I would say this photo was taken very soon after they moved in.

These next two are a touching example of moms from two successive generations.

Louise with my sister Martina.  She was born in July of 1962.

Martina, a mother for the second time, with newborn daughter Katelyn (there is that mom smile again).  December 1993.

Martina with son Sean.

As of this writing (2022) Katelyn will turn 29 in December and Sean will turn 32 this July.

The beach was one of Mom’s greatest loves.  For my sister Martina and I, this was something that took deep root in us.  Martina and her husband Wayne would invite us all down to north county San Diego where we would spend a good part of the time at their local beach, Ponto.  Nice spot.  Mom loved it.  At 80 she was still going out into the water.

Martina with Mom at Ponto.

My daughter Mia, Mom, and me at Ponto.  They were some of the best days ever.  On many occasions I thanked her for her gift of our days at the beach.

This is Amy (brother Pat and sister-in-law Donna’s daughter) with her son Levi and daughter Sadie.  Sadie will be 9 the September and Levi 7 in July (2022).

Life is complicated sometimes, but that can also be awesome!  Case in point.

An early photo of my daughter Christina with her daughter Desta and son Elijah.  Christina is my daughter from my first marriage.  Granddaughter Desta will be 21 this August.  Grandson Elijah is 5 days older than my daughter Mia (from lovely wife Elsebeth).  Both Mia and Elijah were born in June 1999 and will be turning 23 next month.

Mom dancing with me at my 8^th grade graduation.  I have always been short, but back then it was painfully so.  Mom was 4’-11”.  So at least she made me look a bit taller than I was.  There is that ‘Mom smile’ again.

This is my daughter Mia with mom (Elsebeth Rogen).  Bath time, Summer of 1999.  A big ‘Mom Smile’.

Mia with Mom, June 2017.  This was her combination 18^th birthday and high school graduation party.

This month she is graduating from California State University Northridge (CSUN) with a major in History and a minor in Literature, and doing so Cum Laude!  She was accepted into a Masters program at CSUN which she will start this Fall.

Mia has had to overcome a few physical challenges in the past few years.  Elsebeth and I are very proud of her journey and the young lady that she has become.

Our children are the human clocks of our lives and, at some point, it always leaves us thinking where did the time go?  Our lives, and that of our children, are like shooting stars.  If you blink, you will miss it.  Embrace each day with mindfulness and Love.

My apologies to other family members for not having everyone represented.  It was the best I could do with the time I had.

Back in 2020 there were a number of very nice responses to this Mother’s Day PPP.

My sister Martina wrote:

“It’s a privilege being a mom to Sean and Katelyn.  Happy Mother Day to all our extended family moms out there.  I miss my Mom dearly and I wish I could bodysurf just one more wave with her.  I guess I will have to wait for a Heavenly wave.  I will hold on to all the awesome memories until then.”

I wish the same.

Tom Petersen wrote that my sister Martina was like a sister to him.  He also wrote:

“Martina and your family was as much a part of me as my family.  Halibut dinners, trips to Mammoth and Tahoe, and beach time will always be a strong part of my memories.  I recall some many adventures and great times with Marina and Jennifer Nitta. 

Again, the beach is a strong theme throughout our early days with Louise.

A special thanks to Paul Kerbrat and Elyse Thompson for their kind words of appreciation as well.

With Love and Gratitude, and a big Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there.

Mike